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bogleech:

jonbutter:

Oh my god, the Ten Rules of Comedy

  1. Punchline does not mean hit the child.
  2. Don’t howl at your own jokes.
  3. Tentacles funny. Razor sharp claws not funny.
  4. Multiple heads should speak one-at-a-time.
  5. No claws for tickling.
  6. Scared kids don’t laugh.
  7. Try not to hurt the audience.
  8. Always keep sharp spikes in!
  9. You won’t get a laugh if you don’t take a bath.
  10. Never let them see you slobber.

okay but how many children had to be eviscerated before this was all figured out

utenas:

for people who are unaware of why the riots in minneapolis started happening, here’s the facts:

  • it wasn’t george floyd’s protesters who started reacting violently; it was the cops.
  • the protest was peaceful until the cops showed up in riot gear, and started using water cannons, followed up by tear gas and rubber bullets. i got videos from friends who were there, of people screaming and running away from the cops shooting the water cannons, rubber bullets and throwing tear gas at them. they were even shooting at the protesters dragging people away to get medical attention.
  • speaking of medical attention, dispatch refused to provide any medical attention to the protesters. people literally had to drive their bleeding friends to the hospital because they refused to send ambulances.
  • cops are using non-lethal weapons in a lethal way. they shot rubber bullets into people’s heads and injured them. there’s dozens of photos of protesters with bleeding head wounds from the rubber bullets.
  • multiple people used police scanners and heard that there were undercover cops pretending to be violent protesters who were throwing rocks and whatnot at the police, with dozens of eyewitness accounts confirming that information.
  • the person who instigated all the chaos last night (it was a fire at an autozone) with the looting and burning buildings is highly suspected to be an undercover cop pretending to be a protester, because the video of him keeps getting taken down. protesters tried to stop him but couldn’t because he had a hammer and they were scared for their safety.
  • the cops jammed cell phone towers and cut live streams to interrupt broadcasts and to prevent people from seeing what was really going on and who actually started the violence.
  • the cops lied about protesters being armed and about throwing rocks and are literally trying to continue the violence happening and yet no one is holding them accountable for that.
  • and during all this, the cop that murdered george floyd still hasn’t been arrested. he has had more than ten complaints filed against him and was involved in three other civilian shootings in the past. and yet he’s still out free along with his three other buddies involved, probably sitting on his couch while all this chaos is happening.

so don’t get it twisted. the cops just want to change the narrative to make it look like they’re the wounded and righteous party, when they’re the ones who started reacting violently in the first place and are still acting violently. so don’t you ever forget who started this tragedy and murdered someone, and who are continuing to react to the situation with violence. 

whoredrigo:

science-fiction-is-real:

deafgaming:

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American healthcare system be like

Sponge bob is very interesting as an adult viewer because the show has an almost obsession with the economics of daily life. Spongebob has a job. Starts businesses. Worries about getting fired and having to go on welfare or unemployment. You got Patrick who is explicitly unemployed. Squidward who dreams of pursuing his passions but is stuck in a low wage dead end job. You got mr krabs who is a. Wage thieving greedy manager. And you got jokes like this. This show is in dire need of some Marxist analysis

“spongebob is in dire need of some Marxist analysis” is not the hot take i expected today

landofsaltandshade:

mytrash-mylife:

the-absolute-best-posts:



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remember, this is for a DOOR lock.

remember that when picking a DOOR lock, you have to apply a little bit of pressure to your tension wrench (the thing that you use to turn the knob). too little or too much and you wont be able to pick the door open. you can use anything for the tension wrench. a bobby pin. bits of wire. a paper clip. etc.

its best to be completely silent when youre picking locks bc theres this small ‘click’ when youre picking that you might miss if youre using headphones or listening to music.

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if youre picking one of these

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you jam something thin and long above one of the rotation dials and you push up on the shackle.

. if its one of these

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you get yourself some shims. (or make one. you can make shims out of fucking soda cans), you wiggle them in the tiny space between the shackle and the body of the lock, and you pop these suckers open.

. for a chain deadbolt,

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you get something flexible but sturdy and you just push this fucker down

. for one of these rotating combination locks

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you can also shim this motherfucker open. jam your shims between the shackle and the body and pry it unlocked. if, for some reason, you dont wanna shim it open, maybe you dont have a shim or you just like a challenge, this bitch can be decoded ridiculously easy. heres what you do:

spin this bitch to the right about two or three times to “reset” it. then you pull up on the shackle a bit, and turn it right slowly until you hear a click. your number is two spaces further. then you turn left 360 degrees until you land on the right number again, and start turning this motherfucker left until it stops. when it stops, turn right. if its loose, its the wrong number, keep going left. if its not loose, you have the right number, and you turn right all the way until this bitch pops

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now you know how to pick several common locks!!!!! congratulations!!!!

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